Mr. Bachenstein was quite fine

walking home from work,

a light stroll until he suddenly
flew into the air and sped like a rocket

head first

into the bottom of a dangling piano

nine floors above.
And birds, well… they just had to

learn to eventually fly upside down

and build their nests on the underside of the branches.
And fish, well… they rode the largest

blue flying amoeba ever to the exosphere

where the oceans splashed against nothingness

and formed a blurry prismatic shell for those of us

clinging to lamp posts and

clustered, confused on ceilings.
And Remi and Ted’s Pinto

lifted off like at the end of Grease

but they weren’t singing,

just screaming for some long minutes

until, as they suffocated slowly,

they saw a tidal wave coming to swallow them whole.
And so with differentiation at work again

we’re all finding it hard to breath

and so if you find this note in a bottle years from now

know this: it was dropped by a scientist from the doorway

of a lab in Switzerland into the seas above

and we found the Higg’s boson

and we are sorry about the Gravity thing.
In our defense, it was an outlier, you know.